


no matter how high the sky is; no matter how shredded your wings are

by LuciaHunter



Series: Determination Symphony [2]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Background LisaYuki, Background TomoHima, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, F/F, Pre-Relationship, Roselia and Afterglow get involved because those meddling kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-10-04 08:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaHunter/pseuds/LuciaHunter
Summary: The path of love always was thorny and arduous. But with the help of friends around her, maybe, just maybe, Tsugumi would be able to make it through to obtain the rose she longs for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hadn't expected to be writing another fic so soon, but this song really spoke to me so here we go. Not grammar-proofed because I live life dangerously. Also haven't done multi-chapter in a while but the plot runs smoother this way so this format it is. Now to hope I actually finish it- total looks to be about 4 chapters long, though it's getting longer with each chapter...

Tsugumi sucked her breath in through her teeth, trying to calm her nerves. It wasn't like she was the one performing today, and it certainly wasn't a monumental task she was about to attempt - she was just visiting a friend to show her support before the performance.

_Yes, Tsugu. Just showing your support. You can do this. Just a friend._

Creeping up on Galaxy's backstage dressing room door, Tsugumi peeked through the pane of glass set within it, doing a quick sweep of the room. On the left wall, a large TV monitor showed a camera feed of the stage's status at the moment. Directly in front of her, instrument cases and some schoolbags sat on top of the two long tables set against the opposing wall. And on the right side… nope, she could just see a sliver of brown hair moving, but there were no faces in her line of vision. She could hear a mixture of voices from within though, including Ako-chan's excitable yelling.

Tough luck. She had been hoping against hope for the slim chance that Sayo had been within eyesight of the door so she could try to catch her attention without distracting the rest of Roselia from whatever they were doing, but it looked like she would have to do things the hard way.

Raising her hand, she gathered her nerves and knocked on the wooden door with a couple of raps that sounded about as weak and feeble as she felt at the moment. Nevertheless, she could feel the volume within the room drop an audible notch, and braced herself as she waited for someone to come get the door.

She was fine with most members of Roselia, but if it happened to be Yukina… well, that girl's intensity still scared her sometimes. And interrupting them right before a performance might draw her ire, causing her to lose points in Yukina's book.

Her wool-gathering was interrupted when the door opened, revealing Lisa holding what looked like eyeliner in her other hand.

_Phew… it's just Lisa-senpai._

Lisa's ever-present smile on her face grew as she took in who it was, turning into her patented Cheshire Cat grin.

_Oh no. It's Lisa-senpai._

Even before Tsugumi could say anything, the fellow brunette had already turned her head to call out into the room. "Sayo~ You've got a cute visitor here for you."

"Lisa-senpai!"

"Go get her tiger!" Lisa whispered with a wink as she stepped back towards the make-up tables, where Tsugumi only just noticed Yukina was waiting for Lisa to finish helping her out. The vocalist had an eyebrow arched in curiosity, but she too had a slight smile as she acknowledged Tsugumi's presence with a nod.

Tsugumi hastened to return the nod with a bow of her own, but when she raised her head, she found her breath taken away by the sight in front of her.

Right, the new costumes. She should have connected the dots when she saw Lisa in it, but she hadn't expected… this. Sayo looked _absolutely ravishing._

Bared shoulders, with black off-shoulder sleeves that accentuated the whiteness of her porcelain skin. A frilly dress that was reminiscent of Roselia's old militaristic costumes and their BLACK SHOUT outfits simultaneously. Stockings that only emphasized the guitarist's height and long, slender legs, with a hint of skin between them and the skirt's frills. And pinned on her chest was a teal rose that accentuated the whole outfit, matching the colour of her hair.

Tsugumi suddenly couldn't find the words she rehearsed extensively just minutes before, her eyes running over the alluring sight right in front of her.

"Tsugumi-san?"

_Be still, my gay heart._

"Sayo-san! Came to wish I- Uhm, I came to wish you good luck. Also cookies. I brought cookies," Tsugumi stuttered eloquently as she raised a tote bag containing a batch of her finest which she had slaved over that morning.

"Thank you, Tsugumi-san," Sayo replied as she took the tote bag from Tsugumi's hands, their fingers brushing lightly and lingering for a moment longer than necessary. "You didn't have to, but I do appreciate it."

Ah, there it was. That same soft smile that Tsugumi always found herself melting over. With Sayo's normally regal, cold expression, Tsugumi quietly considered it a victory each time she managed to coax a smile out of the older girl.

"I'll be watching in the audience so do your best, Sayo-san! I'm excited to see what Roselia will come up with today!"

"We'll do our best to live up to your expectation then. And…" Sayo paused for a moment, seemingly considering her words carefully. "Let's have another baking session soon?"

"Okay! I'll wait for your message then!"

With a couple more niceties and smiles, the door closed, and Tsugumi quietly leaned against the wall next to it, trying to catch her breath as she fanned her face.

That new costume was _not good_ for her heart. It was all she could do to keep her eyes on Sayo's face during the conversation when all she really wanted to do was to examine how it wrapped so well around the contours of Sayo's slim figure…

She was about to start making her way back into the audience pit, when a muffled Lisa's voice caught her attention.

"Sooooo Sayo, when are you going to confess?"

Tsugumi felt her heart skip a beat.

"… I don't know what you're talking about."

With a fake long-suffering sigh, Lisa continued. "Sayo, I've only ever seen you make that smile for three groups of people. Us Roselia, Hina, and Tsugumi. Seems to me like she's going to become a part of the family soon."

"It's not like that." The response was clipped, and straight to the point.

Outside the door, Tsugumi's heart took a dip in its rollercoaster of emotions. Maybe it had just been her wishful thinking, but she had hoped that it _was_ like that.

A different voice chimed in. "Sayo. She makes good cookies."

"I fail to see your point, Minato-san."

"Lisa makes good cookies too. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you shouldn't overlook the affections of a girl who puts in the effort to make good cookies just for you."

_Y-Yukina-senpai too?!_ She couldn't hear any response from Lisa, but she could just imagine the bassist fawning over Yukina at this very moment.

"… Extraneous points aside, I'll agree her cookies are the best."

Tsugumi could feel the blood surging to her face again.

"That's not what I said Sayo, I only said she makes good cookies. Lisa's cookies are clearly the best."

Lisa's voice cut back in. "Aww Yukina, I'm glad you feel that way!"

"Hmph. Let's agree to disagree on this point," an unconvinced Sayo responded.

"... We'll have you leave Roselia now, Sayo."

And that was where Tsugumi decided to find her way to the audience section before things got weirder.


	2. Chapter 2

It was on a cold, gloomy afternoon two days later at CiRCLE's outdoor cafe, with Afterglow taking a break in the middle of their usual after-school practice session.

Tsugumi cupped her hands around her steaming cup of tea, wishing the warmth would reach her cold body. Short of downing the scalding liquid and risking a second degree burn though, that wasn’t happening.

“Tsugu~ You’re being awfully un-Tsugurific today,” Moca commented as she sidled into the seat next to her, hand clutched around an ever-present bun from the Yamabuki Bakery. Somehow, Moca always managed to be in possession of some sort of bun. Tsugumi considered it a part of her childhood friend's identity at this point.

“S-sorry…” Tsugumi let out a sigh, her breath coming out in a gust of steam from the tea. All things considered, it hadn't been one of her better practice sessions. She wasn't the kind to make excuses for herself, and she knew that her performance today had truly been dismal.

The first five minutes or so had been going "same as usual", as Ran would always say, but shortly after that she had found it increasingly hard to focus. It had started with a stray thought of how their song vaguely sounded like the Roselia song she had witnessed a couple of days before, and from there she had spiraled into a thread of remembering every instance of Sayo she could recall from that night. Every single polished pose, every single proud thrust of her hand towards the audience…

Oh dear. She was doing it again.

“You know you can tell your old friend Moca anything, right~” Moca's drawl had a slightly more insistent tone than usual, a fact that wasn't lost on the keyboardist.

 _That's a bad idea Tsugu,_ her mental voice told her sternly. _You know Moca is going to tease you to no end. There's no way anything good can come out of this._

Yeah… best to just remain silent and sip at her tea pensively.

"Tsuguuu~"

"I've been thinking about someone," Tsugumi blurted out in a rush, as though she couldn't get the words out fast enough. _Stupid, stupid Tsugu!_ But despite what her inner voice told her, at her heart Tsugumi was still just a gentle girl who always turned to her friends for comfort.

"Oho, is our little Tsugu growing up?" A new voice cut in from behind, and a panicked turn revealed none other than the rest of their friends, apparently done with purchasing their own drinks. Himari took the other seat next to Tsugumi while Tomoe plopped down unceremoniously on Himari's other side, with Ran completing the circle. "Tsugu, that's so cute! You have to tell us who it is!" the bassist yelled excitedly, loud enough to draw a few raised eyebrows from the surrounding tables.

"Himari." The soft chiding came from Tomoe, who put a restraining hand on her girlfriend's shoulder to settle her down. "Let's give Tsugu at least some semblance of privacy, yeah?"

"Whoops! But Tsugu!" Himari's voice dropped several levels, but her excitement was still evident. "Our Tsugu!! Wait, it's not one of us, is it?"

Lost in thought about whether she should really reveal who it was, Tsugumi was caught off-guard. "One of us?"

"Yes! You're the only one who never had a crush within the group so it only makes sense that you're starting now! But wait, if you're distracted during rehearsal then you must be staring at…" Himari trailed off, her expression turning from glee to a poor imitation of pity. "Oh no, I'm so sorry Tsugu, my heart's already with Tomoe."

With a weird atmosphere descending over the group, Tsugumi could only let out a weak laugh as she played along despite the obvious joke. "Himari-chan, it's not like that…"

Moca rejoined the conversation, waving her bun around with an air of wisdom. Or at least as much wisdom as waving a bun could conjure. "Hii-chan, you should stop joking around~"

"Wow, Moca being the voice of reason, I never thought I'll see this day," Tomoe quipped.

"Well that's because it's the truth. If Tsugu's distracted, it's clearly by my cute butt rather than Hii-chan's~"

"Sorry Moca-chan, it's not you either."

"Eeehh?! Moca-chan's hurt… I was so sure you had a thing for me."

"Last I checked, you were the one with a crush on Tsugu back in the day," Tomoe joked with a friendly elbow to Moca's side.

"Everyone had a crush on Tsugu at some point, it doesn't count," Moca countered smoothly as always. "She's too Tsugurific to be tied down by any of us."

 _Again with that word,_ Tsugumi's smile faded slightly. Most days, it felt like a point of pride, that her childhood friends thought of her as unique personality that deserved its own name. An in-joke, that sparked warm feelings in her heart.

Days like this, when she couldn't even focus on playing her own part on an instrument she had been playing for years, it felt like a burden she couldn't live up to.

_You had one job, Tsugu. One job._

"Earth to Tsugu!" A hand waved in front of her face dragged her attention back to the present, with pink curls bouncing in her peripheral vision.

"Sorry! I'm just thinking…"

"Hey, don't overdo it there. You can always confide in us yanno? That's what childhood friends are for," Tomoe answered with a roguish grin.

"Ooh, this person must be quite the looker to get our Tsugu's attention like this. I can just imagine her… a cool silent beauty, probably plays the guitar… wait, this is Moca-chan after all."

"Quiet, Moca," Ran spoke up for the first time while sitting down at the table. "Tsugumi, you don't have to share it with us if you're not comfortable with it. Just know that we're here for you."

"Ran-chan…" Touched by the sincerity and friendship surrounding her, Tsugumi decided to take a leap of faith. "Actually… it's… it's Sayo-san."

The air froze so suddenly it almost felt oppressive, with Tsugumi's mind going into overdrive. _Wait, Sayo-san is part of Roselia! Oh no, Ran-chan will be so mad!_

And true to expectations, all hell broke loose a second later when Ran opened her mouth and… was she giggling? As if letting loose the floodgates, Ran's badly hidden snicker caused the rest of the group to erupt into raucous laughter, with Tomoe so hysterical she was banging on the table as hard as she did her drums.

The keyboardist frowned in confusion, waiting for the situation to make sense to her even as her cheeks flushed bright red. Maybe she didn't know what they were laughing at exactly, but she was sure it was at her expense!

"Tsugu- oh gosh I can't, you're so precious, Tsugu."

Himari's statement was, well, of no use at all, so Tsugumi decided to go on the offensive. "What do you mean, Himari-chan?"

The innocuous question only sent Himari into a bigger fit of laughter, so Tomoe jumped in to answer. "Tsugu, I'll hate to tell you this, but I think you're the last one in the group to realise you had a thing for Sayo-san."

 _Me? Sayo-san? Everyone else knew?_ Tsugumi's mind was lost in a flurry of thoughts.

"I think we all kind of picked up on it after all those dates to the mall you went on with her," Tomoe gestured vaguely, trying to lead Tsugumi as though guiding a lost sheep.

"That was just expeditions for baking supplies…"

"All those one-on-one baking sessions you two had?"  
  
"We were just experimenting with recipes together?"

"You've been to every single one of their lives for the past five months."

"Ran-chan was the one who said we had to keep an eye on the competition!"

"We're sure you got an eyeful alright~" Moca drawled, sending a fresh surge of blood into Tsugumi's cheeks and ears.

"It was Himari's idea," Ran muttered while avoiding Tsugumi's eyes. "I told her we shouldn't interfere but she said she couldn't stand to watch you two continue that way."

Tsugumi gaped and opened her mouth to speak, before closing it again. _So it was just me falling behind again… Even when it comes to myself, I'm still behind everyone else._

Moca let out a smug smile on her face, now that she was getting into the mood. "Even so, _the_ Hikawa Sayo? That's a tough uphill battle for our Tsugu~"

The keyboardist froze in her seat like a deer in the headlights, as the meaning of Moca's words sunk into her mind.

_… She's right, you know._

"I mean someone as cool and uptight as Roselia's guitarist… Perfect and flawless on stage- well almost as perfect as the great Moca-chan, but that aside, she's bound to have some high standards."

Each word felt like a stab into Tsugumi's heart, as they confirmed the deepest fears she hadn't ever dared to confront. Perhaps even the same fears that had stopped her from realising her feelings all along.

Lost In her head, Tsugumi couldn't notice the tension in the air as the laughter died rapidly, nor did she spot Tomoe and Ran's warning glares at Moca.

"How could our little Tsugu ever be possibly good eno- oof!" With a flurry of movement under the table as though multiple legs had kicked out at the same time, Moca was silenced. But not before the damage had been done.

"I… I'm going to the washroom."

"Tsugu!" She wasn't sure whose hand had reached out to her exactly, but she just brushed it off as she abandoned her drink and ran off for the studio doors, barely fumbling through the doors with her rapidly blurring vision.

_I'll…_

_I'll never be good enough…_

* * *

 

Behind her, three angry pairs of eyes glared at the remaining offender, who at least had the conscience to look guilty over her actions.

"Oh… I messed up there."

As Himari opened her mouth to launch into an angry tirade, Tomoe glanced worriedly at the doors their friend had disappeared through.

"Tomoe. You should go after her," Ran stated calmly. "I'll keep an eye on these two."

It took only a brief moment of deliberation, before Tomoe nodded firmly. "That'll be a great help. We'll meet up inside the studio later."

With one last squeeze on Himari's forearm to let her know to take it easier on Moca, the drummer took off running for the doors as well, leaving the trio behind.

"… Do you think Tsugu would accept my apology if I offer her one of my buns?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doing Tsugumi dirty like this on her birthday I'm so sorry Tsugu uwu.
> 
> Also no longer un-betaed because I have the great okapifeathers looking over my work now to fix my stupid mistakes now :KokoroYay: Thanks as always.  
> Between us we probably still don't have half a working brain of English grammar though so maybe shouldn't not focus on those mistakes a little too much.


	3. Chapter 3

As Tsugumi slumped against the door of the toilet cubicle she had locked herself in, she had never felt emptier. The tears streamed down her face, but she couldn't even muster the energy to wipe them away.

The worst part was, this didn't even feel like a low for her- this felt like how things should be. It wasn't like Moca had really put her down, she had just been pointing out the uncomfortable truths Tsugumi hadn't dared to face.

She could never be good enough for Hikawa Sayo.

The guitarist was skilled, talented, and the sheer picture of perfection. If not, Tsugumi wouldn't have had her breath taken away each time she saw the older girl. Everything about her was captivating.

The way her hair swayed during Roselia's performances, each careful flick making it flow around her fluidly yet without disrupting her playing. Her slender fingers, that Tsugumi knew carried so much strength yet caressed her guitar like a newborn baby. The way she pursed her lips when she struggled to keep a straight face, a strict aura of professionalism that covered the extensive range of emotions Tsugumi knew Sayo held.

It had taken her multiple trips and baking sessions to really get to know Sayo, but Tsugumi knew there was so much more behind the icy guitarist everyone simply took at surface level. She had gotten to know her blazing passion for music, her deep-seated care for her sister, her penchant for liking cute fluffy things…

The other girl was a truly vibrant, wonderful person, and Tsugumi was head-over-heels in love. But what could she even bring to the table?

She had no defining trait, unlike her friends. Ran had her songwriting talent, along with that streak of rebelliousness that had dragged them into so many escapades. Tomoe wasn't just tall and beautiful; her recklessness was on par with Ran's defiance, and it was all held together with a caring heart from her elder sister tendencies. Himari was the life of the party, always the one who made sure everyone was having fun, always the one keeping them together as a group. And despite what people might think, Moca wasn't actually kidding about being a genius- one didn't get away with being that lazy without actual talent.

Next to all of them, Tsugumi only knew how to work hard. Because that was how she had spent her entire life up to that point, struggling to keep up with the rest so she wouldn't fall behind.

Someone like her was already lucky enough to have childhood friends that always waited for her to catch up. She had no right to be pushing her luck, wishing for the skies.

"Tsugu? Are you in here?"

Startled by the call, she wiped away at her tears frantically, though she made no move to emerge from the cubicle she was in. "To- Tomoe-chan?"

"… Are you okay, Tsugu?" The question was hesitant, probing. Tomoe probably had no idea how to approach the subject. Which was pretty fair, given that Tsugumi was equally lost.

Everything just felt bleak. Empty. As though her entire world had collapsed on itself, and she had lost all will to carry on.

"I don't know," was the only reply she could manage, leaning even more of her weight on the door.

"Tsugu… Moca didn't mean what she said, you know? You know how she is, she just gets carried away…"

"It's okay, Tomoe-chan. I know she didn't mean anything bad by it."

A couple of quiet footsteps, until she could feel the presence on the other side of the door. "Maybe… do you want to come out of there, Tsugu? We could talk better that way."

The offer was tempting, but Tsugumi wasn't quite sure she was ready to face the world just yet. "I- I'm sorry. I just need a while more."

"That's okay! Take your time," Tomoe's voice was almost flustered with the forced cheer injected into it, but Tsugumi felt the warmth nevertheless. More so when she felt a reciprocating weight slump against the other side of the door.

"Tomoe-chan…"

"We can still talk like this. The rest of the toilet's empty, so feel free to talk about anything you want."

_She's so nice… I don't deserve this._

As Tsugumi stewed in her own depressive thoughts, Tomoe broke the silence once more. "Hey Tsugu, tell me about Sayo-san."

"W-what?" If she hadn't been feeling so empty, Tsugumi might have been blushing furiously. But at this moment the question just felt painfully cruel to even think about.

"You like her, right? So tell me what you like about her. Or just a story of a time you two spent together. I've talked to her a few times regarding our little sisters before, but I still don't know her that well. I want to know what about her made you start liking her."

Tsugumi floundered mentally, before describing her crush in the best way she could think of. "She's… nice."

 _Great going Tsugu. Real eloquent,_ her inner voice snarked.

"Okay, in what way?" Tomoe's response was patient, coaxing.

"I… I'm not sure I can talk about this." In contrast Tsugumi's tone was weak. Despairing.

"Please? I'm not Moca or Himari, I'm not going to tease you about it. I really just want to know more about her. And in a way, you as well, Tsugu. Could you try for me?"

"… Okay, Tomoe-chan."

So she tried. The words were hard to find at first; she felt like she wasn't doing Sayo justice with the way she described her. But the more she talked, the easier it became. Each new thought of the girl brought a little more light into her heart, and a smile onto her face.

Before she knew it, she was reliving the performance she witnessed from a couple of days ago once again.

* * *

"Thank you everyone. You've been a wonderful audience tonight. And though it pains me to say it…"

The crowd's chant of "Ehhh?" was something Tsugumi was fairly used to (she herself had been on the receiving end enough times after all), so she joined along in the call, not wishing for the concert to end.

All in all, it had been an intense night as expected of Roselia. The band had taken to the stage with an explosive start, beginning with LOUDER right off the bat. And the next half a dozen songs that followed had been of the same energy. Tsugumi could already feel the ache in her forearm holding her light-stick from all her desperate waving.

Even so, she would put up with any sort of ache, so long as she could continue watching her favourite guitarist on stage. Even if she could barely move her arm for the whole of tomorrow… that would be just a small price to pay.

"… our next song will be our last," Yukina stated quietly, but firmly.

Tsugumi took part in the obligatory groan from the audience, as she stole a glance at Sayo. The guitarist had a tight smile on her lips, and a faint shaking in her fingers. Adrenaline? Nervousness?

_Ah that's right, the last time Sayo-san played a new song on stage for the first time… She must be afraid she might mess up again._

Without thinking, Tsugumi raised her blade and waved it in the air, grabbing Sayo's attention. "You can do it, Sayo-san!" she mouthed, not willing to make a bigger fuss in the crowd than she already had.

The smile gracing her lips softened, as Sayo's eyes turned sharper and more focused. Tsugumi almost felt herself swooning from the sight, at being the single focal point of her determined gaze.

As for the rest of the stage, Yukina had been true to her core as a professional, glancing at but ignoring the non-verbal exchange happening on her left. "As some of you may have guessed, we would like to debut a new song tonight as well for our closing song."

The vocalist paused for a short while, as the crowd burst into excited murmurs.

"This is a song about pursuing hope despite the odds. About chasing the future ahead of you."

Another short pause with a slight frown creasing her forehead. And then a brief smile appeared, as her golden eyes sought out Tsugumi in the audience, maintaining contact as she continued speaking.

"I- No, we would like to dedicate this song to those who currently lack the courage to pursue something they truly desire. So long as you fight for your passion and remember the sound of our music, Roselia will always be supporting you."

_Yukina-senpai… I'm going to bake her some of the best cookies she's ever had. Well, second best to Lisa-senpai's, anyway._

The lights then dimmed, and the crowd faded into silence.

_"No matter how high the sky is; no matter how shredded your wings are…"_

Her mouth open in surprise, Tsugumi found her hand waving slowly on autopilot as she admired the silver-haired girl glowing alone in the spotlight in the center stage, with nothing but the keyboard as backing. _A slow ballad? That's rare for Roselia. And for their closing song?.._

Then the rest of the band joined in for what seemed like a bridge, and Tsugumi resisted the urge to close her eyes in bliss at how well their voices harmonized together with the English words.

The backing paused, with a single spoken line from Yukina in the silence.  
_"Blaze a path towards your unending dream!"_

In the short split-second that followed, Tsugumi felt a sharp premonition that let her know she had been very, _very_ mistaken about the essence of this song.

A series of energetic taps on the hi-hat led the band in on their final song, and the live-house erupted into a veritable explosion of sound as all members rushed in on what had to be one of Roselia's fastest songs yet. With the crowd around her going wild, Tsugumi barely noticed herself waving along to the beat, her heart pounding along to the music.

_This is… this is Roselia's true power!_

Normally, she would've divided her attention between the members of the band equally, perhaps with a bit more focus on Sayo, as well as Rinko to see what she could learn. But this time she found herself entranced by Sayo as well as Ako just behind her.

_Ako-chan really is Tomoe-chan's sister… That speed and intensity isn't something a normal drummer could pull off!_

But of course, most of her attention was still affixed on Sayo, admiring every flick of her gorgeous flowing hair, and the burning passion in her eyes as she played her guitar. Every note precisely in its place, every bar perfectly timed.

The song went into its instrumental segment, and Tsugumi held her breath as the keyboard solo led into the guitar solo, with Sayo's hands dancing away on her guitar's fretboard. Only after its successful completion did Tsugumi exhale shakily, almost as nervous as though she had been the one on stage.

The music faded away, with the hi-hat's sound draining into silence as Yukina's voice came in loud and clear, backed by the keyboard.  
_"At first, looking up was scary."_

 _"Wishing for the skies was frightful,"_ Sayo sang next, her eyes glued to a single girl in the audience.

Lisa came in next with her line, and Tsugumi could've sworn that cat-like smile flickered across her face for the briefest of moments.  
_"But the Milky Way stretching above the cage,"_

Ako and Rinko followed with their respective lines, even as the other instruments began kicking in once again.  
_"Longing for the brilliance of those stars was,"  
__"Simply dazzling, simply frustrating."_

Even while playing, all five members sang one last line together, with their music reaching a peak.  
_"But right now, surely from here on..."_

A moment of silence followed, and Tsugumi was suddenly acutely aware of Roselia's unique musical style of using silence as a counterpoint to their intense music. A single, glorious moment, as Yukina took a breath and spoke clearly into the microphone.  
_"Let's take flight. Towards that dream of the peak."_

The whole band came in once more for the closing chorus, and Tsugumi had never felt a stronger rush of emotions in her than in that singular moment. It was an incredible sensation of power, that she could do anything so long as she reached out for it.

And there was nothing she wanted to reach out for more, than that wonderful, delicate rose standing on the stage in front of her.

* * *

"… Oh but it's not like that fire in her eyes is only when she's on stage, it happens whenever she gets really into doing something. Like I've seen her beat eggs with that same intensity and it's kind of cute how she really puts all of herself into everything she does. The other time I asked her to…" Tsugumi's voice trailed off as a stray thought interrupted her current spiel, and she fished her phone out of her pocket to check the time.

"Yes?"

Tomoe's voice was prompting Tsugumi to continue talking, but that was the last thing on her mind at the moment. "Tomoe-chan! We should get back to practice!"

"Hmm? Well the rest can wait a while longer until we're done." Tomoe's tone wasn't even flustered, simply brushing the matter aside as if it was of no import.

"Tomoe-chan…" _Now I'm holding up practice… I really am the worst._

"Hey Tsugu, it sounds like you really like Sayo-san. Why don't you tell her how you feel?"

"I…" _Confess? To Sayo-san?_

"I just stood here listening to you talk about her for over five minutes, so don't tell me you don't like her," Tomoe joked as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Don't you think it'll be easier if you just let her know how you feel about her?"

Once again, she could feel the waves of insecurity crashing over her, unbidden thoughts springing to mind. But this time, she could feel a bit more confidence, still buoyed by thoughts of the other girl and memories of Roselia's support.

"Do you… do you really think I can do it?"

"What are you talking about, Tsugu. You've always been the one dragging us into new things, remember? If there's anyone with the courage to do it, it's you. Whenever we get into a pinch, you're always the one taking the lead. Like that time last summer, when we were locked into the school at night…"

Both girls instinctively shuddered as the memories came back. "Okay, maybe not the best example, but still," Tomoe blustered, her voice higher-pitched than usual.

"… Tomoe-chan, I'm going to come out now."

Outside, she could hear Tomoe stepping away from the cubicle door, even as the drummer continued blabbering. "Makes sense, it's kinda creepy talking to a disembodied voice in the toilet all this time huh haha!"

"Tomoe-chan. Just… just stop."

"Right."

Stepping out, Tsugumi made straight for the sink to begin washing her face- but only after confirming out of the corner of her eye that Tomoe was indeed present and not just a disembodied voice. That experience last summer had been way too traumatic for all of them.

In the mirror, she could see her friend waiting patiently for her, though Tomoe stepped up to place a comforting hand on her shoulder once she was done. Staring at her own reflection, she cast her eyes downwards as she continued brooding about the issue.

"But someone like me… There's nothing to like about me, I'm plain and boring, and the only thing I can do is work hard-"

"Don't say that about yourself," Tomoe's voice cut across her feeble protests sharply with a squeeze of her shoulder. "That's my friend you're talking about."

Tsugumi fell silent, looking at Tomoe's eyes in the mirror's reflection. In them, and in the hand on her shoulder, she could feel her childhood friend's unwavering belief in her. The same belief she instinctively knew was shared within their circle of friends, even if they weren't here to express it.

Maybe she still couldn't accept that there was more to herself than she believed. But she could believe her friends when they told her that there was.

Turning around, Tsugumi hugged the taller girl and buried her face in the other's chest. "I'm scared, Tomoe-chan."

"Hey, I was too. I seriously thought I was gonna die trying to confess to Himari. But look where we are now," Tomoe comforted with a few pats on her back. "I'm sure you'll do alright, Tsugu. But no matter what happens, you'll still always have us with you, yeah?"

It took a few more steadying breaths, but Tsugumi finally pulled herself together and let go. "… How are you so good at this?"

"Are you kidding? I've been rescuing Himari from toilets since we were kids. All that practice's gotta count for something."

Tsugumi giggled at the thought, then smiled at the surge of determination that ran through her. "Okay. I can do this. Thank you, Tomoe-chan."

"That's the Tsugu I know! Alright, let's get back to practice for now, and afterwards we can all help you plan out an angle of attack…"

The offer incited another chuckle from Tsugumi, knowing that any plan from her childhood friends would probably be just as disastrous as they usually were- even if things did tend to work out in the end.

She wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That line about not talking about yourself like that, yep, that's a line I pulled from Deltarune. I found it a very powerful line that couldn't possibly be more apt, so I always wanted to try using it somewhere. We all need someone to tell us that line sometimes.
> 
> Anyway, lots of things in this chapter, I hope everyone enjoyed it! The performance part was originally written as Chapter 2 by itself but it was a bit dry and jarring, so I padded it as one of Tsugu's flashbacks. Now Tsugu has had some confidence injected into her by her friends, it's time for her to be Tsugurific once more. Sayo doesn't stand a chance.
> 
> Also obligatory shill, for those in North America & Singapore, there's going to be delayed viewings of Roselia Live Vier & BanG Dream! 6th Live Poppin'Party on Jan 26th & Feb 16th respectively! If you've never tried going to one before, be sure to give it a shot, it's really hyped with the atmosphere and tons of fun! Lots of effort went into making it happen so make the best of the opportunities~


	4. Chapter 4

This wasn't going the way she wanted it.

The plan was simple. The plan was _supposed_ to be simple. Meet at the station, go shopping for baking supplies, have lunch together, head back to Tsugumi's house and attempt a new recipe, confess to her as they celebrated another successful experiment.

Simple and clean, no needless theatrics. Just a calm day spent together, the way Tsugumi knew Sayo would've preferred it. That was the plan she had come up with mostly by herself, with the encouragement she had received from her childhood friends.

So why, pray tell, could she spot an all-too-familiar tall mop of red hair bobbing in the crowd trailing some ten meters behind them?

Why did they just pass by a short hooded figure loitering on the streets, clutching a bun from the Yamabuki Bakery?

Panic gripped Tsugumi, as she rapidly came to the realization that she should've known better than to trust her friends to leave her well alone for something like this.

"Tsugumi-san?"

The call startled the petite girl, who jumped with a yelp. "Yes!"

Next to her, Sayo winced. "Sorry if I startled you. You just seem… a bit tense today."

"A-am I? Haha… Maybe you're just imagining it?.."

"Tsugumi-san…" Sayo's tone was totally unconvinced, but it wasn't like Tsugumi had much of a choice! How on earth was she supposed to explain that her loveable but wholly meddlesome friends had decided to stalk her on what was clearly a… a…

Was this a date? The thought had her even more flustered than the fact that she could spot a single noodle of red hair poking out from behind a tree they just passed.

No no no, that was taking things too fast. It doesn't count until after the confession, she told herself firmly. _Get your head in the game, Tsugu!_

"Tsugumi-san, if you're not feeling well, maybe we should reschedule? We can always do this another day."

"Huh, no! I'm perfectly fine!" Tsugumi paused by the side of the path, turning to face the girl next to her. "Sorry, it's just some other things are on my mind right now. I'm sorry for making you worry."

"Are you sure? You look a little flushed. Are you running a temperature?" True to her meticulous nature, nothing could escape Sayo's sharp eyes.

"Not at all!" Tsugumi panicked. Desperate for Sayo to believe her, she grabbed the taller girl's hand and placed it on her forehead. "See, I'm not feverish or anything!"

Her statement held true for a grand total of two seconds as their positions sank in, after which she began blushing up a storm while Sayo's hand froze where it was.

It felt like eternity before the hand finally lifted off her forehead, and after a moment of hesitating back and forth, carefully helped her brush her bangs back to the side.

"I see, Tsugumi-san. My apologies for doubting you." There was a tint of red on Sayo's cheeks as well. Though her eyes were averted towards the road, she had her usual gentle smile upon her face. "Shall we continue?"

Keeping her head down to avoid broadcasting her intense blush to the world, Tsugumi nodded and resumed walking.

This… was going to be a very long day.

Maybe that wasn't so bad.

\----

Minutes later they found themselves in a headwear store, with Tsugumi having almost dragged Sayo into it. She wasn't sure how her panicked logic had worked out that if they spent enough time in the stores, maybe her friends would give up, but at this point anything was worth a shot.

The store she had chosen on impulse was on their way to the knick-knack store, and one that she had visited on occasion. It was small enough that there was no way her childhood friends would risk entering it without running into them directly, but also large enough that she could hide behind the shelves for a bit to gather herself without feeling like she was being watched.

All things considered, it wasn't that bad an idea either, really. She was actually looking for a new accentuating piece for her outfits anyway: Afterglow's costumes tended to be scraped together from whatever they owned, and she wasn't too keen on repeating the experience of having to borrow from Tomoe's wardrobe. A nice new cap could go a long way in changing up her stage outfits, even if they didn't usually fit as part of her daily wear.

She turned to her companion, who was browsing the racks with a look of curiosity on her face. _Come to think of it, Sayo-san doesn't really wear caps, does she?_

"Ah, Sayo-san, sorry if this is boring you. We can go somewhere else if you like?"

"No, it's fine. Admittedly it's somewhat out of my element, but I do enjoy spending time…" Sayo hesitated for a brief moment, before completing her sentence. "Exploring new things."

Tsugumi tilted her head questioningly, as she ran through her memories of all the outfits she had ever seen the other girl in. "You don't really do caps, do you?"

"No, not at all. They're not essential to an outfit, so I've never really considered them. I'm not used to the sensation, plus they get in the way when you have to take them off."

"Hmm… you mean like when you go indoors?"

"Yes. Having to figure out where to keep it on you without losing it is a hassle." The slight frown that creased her forehead indicated annoyance, so clearly it was something she had experience with before. After all this time spent with her, Tsugumi had more or less worked out how to interpret Sayo's expressions. Those unfamiliar with her could only ever see her strict countenance, but it was the minute variations in it that revealed her thoughts.

Tsugumi nodded in understanding. "I suppose most people who wear caps for style don't usually take them off that often, but I see where you're coming from! Now I think about it, I suppose it doesn't really fit Roselia's image in the first place anyway."

"Our stage outfits sometimes uses hats, but usually Shirokane-san just prepares matching hairpieces. But Roselia, huh… Maybe Imai-san? I could envision her wearing one."

"Lisa-senpai would have to lose her trademark ponytail for that though. What about Yukina-senpai?

Sayo snorted at the suggestion. "Minato-san? With what, a baseball cap?"

A baseball cap… didn't seem quite right, though Tsugumi just took the idea and ran with it. "Now I'm having the mental image of her pitching for the Lions."

Sayo's mouth twitched as she struggled to suppress the smile that tugged at her lips, but failed as the two of them burst out into laughter simultaneously.

Covering her mouth to stifle her giggles, Tsugumi at least had the good graces to look sheepish. "I feel bad for laughing… Please don't tell Yukina-senpai."

"That's alright, Minato-san is well aware of her own limits. She's a musical genius, but any ball she pitched probably wouldn't even make it halfway to the batter… But yes, let's not ever mention this to her," Sayo concluded with a wry smile. "It'll be our secret."

Still feeling a little giggly and warm under Sayo's gaze, Tsugumi cast her eyes about for a distraction, before they settled on a nice cap sitting on one of the highest shelves. Half black and half white, it had the maker's logo on its front in a way suitable for Afterglow's usual punk rock style.

 _Oh, that design looks really cool! That could go pretty well with that top I bought the other day…_ Unconsciously, she began to reach out for it, only to realise the cap wasn't coming any closer.

Oh bother. She wasn't tall enough to reach it. Curse these diminutive Hazawa genes! The thought was instantly followed by a mental apology to her parents and ancestral line, though that wasn't of any help to the situation at hand.

Just as she gave up and was about to start looking for a foot-stool in the shop, or god forbid, a retail assistant's help, another hand reached out and lightly plucked the cap off the shelf.

"Was this the cap you wanted, Tsugumi-san?"

"Ah, yes… Thank you, Sayo-san!" Tsugumi tried to convey all her gratitude into her smile, even as she felt her insides shriveling up from shame. She had always known she was a bit on the short side, but having that fact driven into her by her crush in such a manner had not been on her plans for today.

She reached out to take the cap once more, this time from Sayo's grasp. But before her hands could reach it, the cap went upwards out of her line of sight… after which she felt something gently settling onto her head.

_Oh._

Her embarrassment only grew as the cap lifted off once more and Sayo's hands worked on her hair, carefully arranging her bangs into position before replacing the cap.

Stunned as she was, Tsugumi didn't even have the presence of mind to enjoy the guitarist's gentle ministrations of her hair before it was over. She did get a very mesmerizing view of Sayo's focused gaze on her however, and never had she felt as blessed as to have those determined eyes affixed on her face.

"Perfect." The quiet murmur was accompanied by the softest smile Tsugumi had ever seen, sending her heart racing a mile a minute.

"Th-thank you, Sayo-san," she managed to squeak out even while she felt her face burning, and quickly lowered her head. At least the cap was blocking the taller girl from her view, so she didn't have to show Sayo her blotchy face.

"Oh. S-sorry about that. I uhm, I do the same thing for Hina a lot with her beanies, so it just felt natural. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Casting about for a mirror to see how the cap looked on her, Tsugumi took the chance to cast a glance at Sayo's face, whose ears held the faintest tinge of red.

Huh. Interesting.

"It's okay, Sayo-san!" Taking a deep breath, she turned to Sayo and placed her fists in front of her in what her friends would definitely call a Tsugurific pose, looking up with the brightest smile she could muster. "I really appreciate it!"

The speed with which Sayo's face turned fully red clearly proved one thing: Being short had its perks after all.

\----

"M-maybe we should've gone somewhere else…"

"Hmm? Is there something wrong, Tsugumi-san? If the food here isn't to your liking…"

"I mean… well, I was just thinking we could've been somewhere more appropriate…"

"You worry too much, anywhere is fine. I also visit family restaurants with Roselia all the time- for meetings regarding our performances, of course."

Looking at her crush in front of her, Tsugumi was tempted to agree: Anywhere was indeed fine so long as they were together. But raising her eyes slightly higher, she could see Moca standing behind, shoving her shit-eating grin against the short glass panel atop the seat backs dividing the booths, and she knew it couldn't be further from the truth. This was _not_ fine.

It had only been a few minutes since they entered the family restaurant, but things had already gone irreversibly wrong. Shortly after the server had seated them in their own booth and asked them to make their orders using the tablet on the table, she had seen a few familiar faces pile in through the door, thankfully situated behind Sayo's back.

Unsurprisingly, the rest of Afterglow had made a beeline for the (unfortunately) empty booth right next to theirs, talking in hushed tones that she couldn't make out from over the divider. But whatever it was, she was sure they were up to no good!

"Something catch your eye?" Sayo raised an eyebrow questioningly as she started to turn her head, causing Tsugumi to panic.

"Sayo-san! I mean, ah yes, the fries here are quite tasty, so I was just thinking about them," she blustered as she flipped the shared menu forcefully to the corresponding page. "Look, they have three different seasonings available to choose from!"

Distracted by the allure of deep-fried potato strips, Sayo's attention was instantly affixed back on the menu. "Hmm, curry, consomé and seaweed… that does sound interesting. Do you have any preference, Tsugumi-san?"

With the crisis averted for now, Tsugumi heaved a sigh of relief internally. "I'm alright with anything. Maybe you could choose for us?"

"I see. In that case let's try out the consomé. And as for mains…" Sayo trailed off as she continued perusing the menu, a studious look of concentration on her face.

Tsugumi took the opportunity to look up at Moca once again, who was making the weirdest faces in a bid to crack her composure, with her eyes all screwed up and tongue lolling out of her mouth.

If she hadn't been used to Moca's antics for the past decade of her life, it might have actually worked. Instead, Tsugumi returned the most disapproving stare she could muster.

Yeah, not working either. Moca had also been used to Tsugumi for the past decade of her own life, too. There was no way she could cow the mischievous girl into behaving when her own threat level was the closest to zero out of the Afterglow members. It looked like she was going to have to deal with this unwanted distraction throughout lunch… or so she thought. Her unexpected savior appeared when Ran rose up next to Moca, placed a hand on the other girl's head and shoved it back down into their booth.

Tsugumi might _almost_ have been grateful, if not for the fact that none of them were supposed to be there in the first place.

"I believe I shall go with the hamburger steak," Sayo mused, before turning the shared menu over to Tsugumi proper and reaching out for the tablet to make their orders. "Feel free to take your time deciding."

It was a nice thing to say, but Tsugumi had no intention of letting this lunch drag out any longer than it had to. Flipping back through the menu to find the first thing that seemed appetizing to her, she quickly settled on the curry udon and had Sayo input it for her. With their orders made, she thought some of the tension would've faded away, but the fact that her childhood friends were just meters away from her made it incredibly hard to say anything.

"Tsugumi-san, I… is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course!" _Nothing to worry about, not at all…_

The dubious look told her Sayo wasn't exactly convinced. "Are you certain?"

"Absolutely. How could it not be, haha…" Tsugumi was starting to lose count of the number of lies she had told today; she was sure she had never fibbed this much in her life before. She could practically feel her sins crawling on her back.

"If it's really that unpleasant to be-" The older girl's frustrated words cut off abruptly mid-sentence, as Sayo took a deep breath. When she resumed, it was in a much more measured pace, as though carefully considering her words. "My apologies. I would like to think we're closer than that, for that to work on me. But I understand you also have your difficulties. I just… I just hope you can rely on me when you feel comfortable enough to do so."

She was averting her eyes now, with her frown beyond the usual light crease of her eyebrows, and that was the moment Tsugumi knew she had messed up. She wasn't really being fair to the girl she had asked out, was she? Her friends might have set her on edge, but to Sayo, it might have seemed like she was uncomfortable being out with her, which couldn't be further from the truth!

Tsugumi reached across the table, touching the other girl's hand hesitantly. "I'm sorry for my behavior today, Sayo-san. I didn't mean to seem like I'm not enjoying my time with you. It's just…"

Leaning across the table and motioning for the other girl to bend in closer, Tsugumi was relieved when the other girl understood and responded immediately. That said, she still wasn't sure whether she should just go ahead and say it… but she owed the other girl the truth, that much she was sure.

"I uhh, don't know why, but my friends from Afterglow have been following us all day long…"

Gosh, she could feel her face flushing just from saying that much. Even if it was absolutely none of her fault.

"You mean they weren't supposed to?" Sayo's face was one of surprise, but that had nothing on Tsugumi's own state of shock.

_What._

Seeing Tsugumi's stunned face, Sayo tilted her head in confusion. "I… I had assumed you had planned this. Wasn't that why you were trying to stop me from seeing them this whole time?"

"God no, I would never have asked them to follow us out like this!” Tsugumi whispered urgently. “How did you ever come to that conclusion and when did you notice them?"

"I just… thought it wasn't polite to mention it if you chose not to bring it up." A spattering of pink appeared on Sayo's cheeks, as she continued speaking in a hushed tone. "I've been seeing them throughout the day, but wasn't sure until earlier with the hat shop, I suppose? But it's hard to miss them when they've been talking behind me the whole time we've been in here."

"You can _hear_ them?!" Tsugumi almost wanted to plant her face in the desk with embarrassment at her friends. Since she hadn't been able to hear anything herself, especially in an environment as noisy as this family restaurant, she had assumed her friends had been sensibly keeping their voices down.

"Well they've been talking at about the same volume as we are now, but I would make a rather poor musician if I couldn't identify their voices from a meter behind me."

Ah, so it wasn't their fault, but rather just Sayo's observation and listening prowess. Maybe a career as detectives or phantom thieves was still plausible for Afterglow after all.

Tsugumi was almost afraid to ask. "Have you- have you been able to hear what they're saying?"

At that question, Sayo's cheeks turned even redder, as she turned to the side and stuttered a "No."

Yeah, Sayo wasn't any better at telling lies either, but Tsugumi definitely wasn't going down that line of questioning. She already had a pretty good idea exactly what were the kind of things Sayo had been hearing… and if there had been a hole in the ground, she would've buried herself in it. At this point she was tempted to hit the Bill button on the tablet and just make her escape. Maybe her dignity was already in shambles, but her cringe from her friends was starting to border on physical pain.

"Tsugumi-san, if I may, I believe I might have a solution to this… problem."

"I'm so sorry for their behavior, Sayo-san. I'll do anything to make it up to you- we can go somewhere else?"

"That won't be necessary," Sayo explained while shifting about uneasily. "Though I'm not sure how well this will work, but you want us to enjoy our… outing in peace, yes?"

After an entire day of high-strung nerves, the answer came readily. "Of course!"

"Very well." Sayo then sat up straight again, and… lifted her left pinky in the air?

This had to be the oddest thing she had ever seen the serious guitarist do. For the life of her, Tsugumi couldn't figure out just what the girl was doing. Judging by the sudden absence of hushed tones in the background from the adjacent booth, she assumed her friends were equally flummoxed.

"Sayo-san, what are you-" Her question was left unfinished as a wave of silver and brown hair flowed past their booth in a flash, pairs of golden and earth-green eyes quickly assessing the situation and stopping at the next booth over. Seated where she was, Tsugumi had a pretty good view of the action as Yukina and Lisa stared down the four members of Afterglow.

"Mitake-san."

"M-Minato-san?! What are you doing here?"

Tsugumi was sure her jaw was on the floor in shock by this point.

"The same as you all. Though not as half-heartedly."

The shock and indignation emanating off Ran was almost palpable, even though Tsugumi couldn’t see her face. "Impossible! We haven't seen you two at all the entire day!"

"That's because as professionals, we take everything we do seriously. Not that I would expect a second-rate band like Afterglow to understand." The challenging, smug look on Yukina's face was almost unreal, though Tsugumi could make out the sly smile tugging at her lips.

"What was that?" Ran readily took the bait and rose up from her seat, even with Moca tugging at her sleeve.

"Exactly what I said. If you're going to stalk someone you should never let them become aware of your presence unless you're trying to intimidate them. Lisa and I would never do something so foolish as to ruin their experience. Amateurs." With that parting shot, Yukina strode off back where she came from, somewhere deeper in the restaurant.

 _How did they even get there without me noticing them?_ Confusion plagued Tsugumi's mind, but she decided it would be better for her sanity to leave that question unanswered.

Almost choking in anger, Ran ran off after Yukina, with Moca following at a more leisurely pace. "Ran, wait up~"

"This got messy quickly," Tomoe remarked offhandedly from where she was still seated, before getting up and approaching the pair with Himari. "Yo, Sayo-san, Tsugu."

"Tomoe-san." Sayo's reply was curt, but not unfriendly.

Tsugumi on the other hand, had plenty of choice words about the 'support' she had been receiving from her friends, but not much she could really speak in front of Sayo. "Tomoe-chan, I'm disappointed."

The red-haired girl raised her hands up in surrender, chuckling. "For the record, I wasn't the one who suggested this, though I thought it was all in good fun. Though Moca really went overboard there as usual. Don't worry, we'll make sure your meals are on her."

"Yeah Tsugu we were just concerned! And worried!" Himari interjected. "We just wanted to make sure nothing got in the way of your- uh, of you two having a good time!"

 _You're doing that right now,_ Tsugumi wanted ever so badly to reply, but couldn't bring herself to question her friends' good(?) intentions. Left with no better course of action, she just sighed with a droll stare. "We'll be fine. Please leave us alone?"

"Will do that," Tomoe flashed an amused grin, turning to the others. "Lisa-san, are there enough seats at your booth for us?"

"Sure do! It's just Yukina and I right now, it'll be fun to have you all join us!" The brunette turned to the seated pair, giving them a thumbs-up that sent both of them burying their faces in their hands.

"Right. Himari, you go with Lisa-san to get our account transferred to their booth. I'll go make sure Ran doesn't accidentally murder Minato-san. Catch you later, Tsugu, Sayo-san."

"Yeah, see you two next time!" Himari laughed as she started for the nearest staff, closely followed by Lisa who left wordlessly but not without a parting wink.

The sudden silence that descended upon the pair was nothing short of awkward, given how boisterous it had been just a moment before. Not to mention the number of unexpected questions Tsugumi suddenly had in her head. "Sayo-san…"

"Hold on. I understand it's a lot to ask, but could we… not talk about what just happened? I promise we'll talk about it sometime, but just… just not right now."

She took a closer look at the teal-haired girl. Despite the awkwardness, there was noticeably less tension in her shoulders, a softer look in her eyes. Changes from her usual demeanor that she hadn't picked up on all day, until now.

It dawned on Tsugumi that she wasn't the only one this day had been pretty rough on.

"Of course, Sayo-san," Tsugumi smiled as she reached across the table once more, resting her hand reassuringly on Sayo's. "Let's continue where we left off?"

"Yes. But first, Aoba-san is picking up the bill, right? Hmm then let's see, we can order the two other fries, some fried chicken, and then the tempura…"

Tsugumi blinked in astonishment. "S-Sayo-san?"

"That was just a joke." A playful smile appeared on Sayo's lips, lips that Tsugumi had never felt more like kissing as she giggled. The amusement only escalated when a server arrived timely with their first plate of fries, sending the pair into even greater laughter.

Yes, their outing was finally back on track. She was finally left alone with the girl she loved with no one's prying gaze over them. Free to enjoy their time together, without the weight of their friends watching.

Even the thought of what was to come later today wasn't a worrying burden anymore, just another logical step she was nervous about, but happily working towards.

_Sayo-san… I love you so much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer to write than I expected. Sorry it took so long, and unfortunately the next part will probably take just as long, as things are starting to get busy in real life. Hopefully I'll be able to release the conclusion just after Season 2 ends, which is an appropriate time for this fic.
> 
> Some references to the franchise in here of course, with the baseball collab (sorry Aiai), Persona etc. The cap scenario almost happened to me in real life except it was me to a very important guest instead (hint: it was a wide-brimmed straw hat for a certain white summery costume for an overseas trip). Sometimes I still wonder in cold sweat what would've happened if I had been dumb enough to put the hat on her head instead of realising last minute and handing it to her like a normal human being. It definitely would not have ended well like this fic.
> 
> The fic has also seemingly gotten a bit more crack but that's the fun part about Bandori, it's actually still entirely plausible with how these characters work. That's what makes this such a joy to imagine.


	5. Chapter 5

Without the interference of their friends, the rest of lunch had proceeded rather smoothly. Some banter, discussion of some favorite music and cafes; normal topics for two normal high school girls out together. Barring the fact that (at least) one of them was head over heels in love with the other.

Tsugumi may have thought of herself as normal and boring, but that didn't mean she was an idiot! The way Sayo had readily summoned Lisa and Yukina to their aid meant she had known, or more likely arranged for the other two to follow them this entire day. And other than the possibility of some extremely freak circumstances, the only conclusion she could draw from this was that her feelings were not as one-sided as she had once feared.

She almost burst from the happiness when the initial realization had first set in. Relief, hope, delight, everything had flooded her system in a surge more powerful than the delicious smell of fries sitting on their table. (The sight of Sayo steadily picking away at the plate only contributed to the euphoria.)

With her doubt and fear sent flying away, Tsugumi hadn't been able to control herself from taking increasingly bold steps. Lunch had been filled with happy gazes that sent the other girl averting her eyes in increasingly embarrassed expressions and graceful smiles of her own, though neither mentioned it directly. On the walk back home, with each of them carrying a shopping bag filled with ingredients, Tsugumi had held onto Sayo's hand so they wouldn't get parted in the crowd.

Again, neither of them brought it up, but simply accepted it for what it was. Maybe they were skipping a few steps here and there… but they were going to do things properly later, so this much was fine, right?

The pair entered Tsugumi's abode with practiced ease, with Sayo announcing her presence to the empty house. It being a Sunday, Tsugumi's parents were both busy working the café downstairs, leaving them to have the full run of the place.

"Sayo-san, would you like to take a break first or should we just start?"

"I'm fine with either. Though perhaps we should just get started first? There'll be time to rest later while the cake is in the oven.

As Tsugumi began setting the ingredients out onto the kitchen counter, Sayo dug through the cabinet for the utensils they needed. "I see you got some new cookie cutters," she commented off-handedly. "These are… cats?"

"Oh! Yes, I didn't have any cat-shaped ones before this so I thought they would be a nice addition, plus I did need them for Yukina-senpai's cookies."

Sayo paused, a whisk held aloft in her hand. "For Minato-san?"

"Ah yes… She helped me out a bit lately so I thought it would be nice to bake her some cookies as thanks, that's all."

"I see. Hmm, maybe I should get some dog-shaped ones too."

Tsugumi giggled lightly. Seeing an embarrassed Sayo was cute, but having her being this open about her wants was refreshing as well. "We could pick up some together the next time we go to the knick-knack shop!"

"That does sound like a plan."

The pair continued working in a comfortable silence, laying out everything the recipe called for. Tsugumi ran through the handwritten checklist in her hands, mentally ticking off the items as she accounted for them. _Flour, sugar, corn starch, cocoa powder_ _…_

When she was confident she had everything ready, Tsugumi nodded firmly to herself, reaching for her apron and putting it on. It was time to get down to business. Turning to Sayo, she noted a similar fire in her eyes that no oven could match, and felt her lips curl upwards.

"Let's make the best cake ever, Sayo-san!" With the two of them, surely they were unstoppable!

"Yes, let's," was the reply with a wry smile.

As the pair began their work by preparing the cake pans, Sayo turned her head to the side, burying her face in the crook of her elbow. With the non-urgent movement with which she did it, she was… stifling a yawn? Her concern piqued, Tsugumi couldn't stop herself from speaking out. "Are you alright, Sayo-san?"

The taller girl blinked languidly- or what counted as languidly for Sayo, anyway, given that she still looked alert enough to wrestle a tiger. "Apologies. It's been a tiring day, and I haven't been sleeping well lately."

"I see… Things on your mind?" Tsugumi asked, before realising exactly what might have been the very problem causing it, and immediately regretted opening her mouth. _If it's about us, then I've just put Sayo-san in a very awkward position!_

A tinge of red on Sayo's cheeks told her she had been right, though Sayo handled it with more grace than Tsugumi felt like she herself could have. "Perhaps. I won't deny I've been somewhat worried about today. But beyond that, I've just been having… rather vivid dreams."

Tsugumi's breath hitched and felt herself flushing as her mind wandered to places where they were not supposed to go. _Bad Tsugu!_ Fumbling about for a reply, she squeaked out a "I… I see."

"Not that sort!" Sayo was quick to clarify as she almost face-palmed with her flour-covered hand, her own face turning the same tomato-red shade as Tsugumi's. "They're normal dreams, I assure you, they just seem… quite real."

"O- oh." Tsugumi felt her blush deepen for even _thinking_ of such things, and kept her gaze locked on the cake pan she was prepping. "Do you recall any of them?"

"Well, there was one where our bands were all representing the live houses for some reason, in some sort of inter live house competition to see which supported the best bands." For just a mere dream, Sayo had readily described it firmly in detail, Tsugumi noted. It seemed like the matter had indeed been weighing on the guitarist's mind.

"Oh? But there's only CiRCLE and Galaxy, right?"

"In my dream, Space was around for some reason too, and it was Space's Owner who organised the competition in Budokan. Roselia and Afterglow were representing the same live house, except we couldn't really cooperate with Minato-san and Mitake-san at loggerheads as usual, so you and I were having a meeting to see how we could improve the situation."

Tsugumi furrowed her brow, struggling to wrap her mind around the world Sayo described. "That sounds… both inexplicably dreamlike yet possible at the same time," she offered while setting the pans aside, preparing to sift the flour. "Then again, Budokan…" Tsugumi giggled lightly, the absurdity of it sinking in. "It certainly would be nice, but a girls band that’s only been around for a few years can’t possibly make it to that sort of stage."

"That's the thing," Sayo sighed, her breath stirring a few particles of flour into the air. "It's weirdly realistic yet clearly just a dream. But when I wake up, I actually need to take a few moments to run through my memories to remember exactly what is real and what was just a dream. It's quite a recent phenomenon for me, so I'm not sure why this is happening to me."

Racking her brains, Tsugumi couldn't really find anything comforting to say, though a memory floated to the top of her head unbidden, of an afternoon inside the Haneoka student council room. The words were out of her mouth even before she realised she was speaking. "Sayo-san, are you aware of the alternate universe theory?"

"Not… in particular?"

"It's something Hina-senpai told me about once. It was something like…" She paused to gather her thoughts; not only did she have to remember exactly what she had been told, she also had to translate Hinaspeak into normal human words. "There's an infinite number of universes, one for every possibility… something like that?"

"…?" The quizzical look on Sayo's face indicated it wasn't really working.

"Sorry! I'm not very good at explaining things," Tsugumi felt her confidence deflating.

"Don't be. It's not easy understanding Hina; trust me, I would know. But I'm glad you're trying for my sake."

The warm smile gave Tsugumi every impetus she needed to push on. "Thank you, Sayo-san… I don't recall exactly how she explained it, but I do remember she said that for every choice we make, the universe branches into alternate universes. So there might be an alternate timeline where perhaps Space didn't shut down, or maybe Space was reopened."

"I see. So you're saying perhaps I'm seeing visions of an alternate universe?"

The thought sounded ludicrous when spoken out loud, and Tsugumi instantly regretted even bringing it up. "Well no, that does sound silly. It was just something that came into my head, don't mind it…"

"Well, it's not like we'll ever really know the real answer either, or if there even is one," Sayo mused while pouring the cocoa powder into the mix. "Hmm, so there may be a universe where I never picked up guitar… Or one where we never met."

The thought sent a pang through Tsugumi's heart, as she imagined her life without Sayo. Without their baking meetups to look forward to, without Sayo's frequent café visits that she was always happy to serve personally. Without the more talented girl by her side, pushing her on to be the best version of herself she could be.

Tsugumi decided she never wanted to see a world like that, and thanked her lucky stars for bringing the two of them together.

"I'm very glad we live in this one then. But I'm sure that we'll always find each other no matter what kind of world we're in."

A flood of sugar came pouring across the kitchen counter in reply, as the large bag Sayo had been slowly measuring out slipped from her hands, landing with a soft thud and a cascade of saccharine sweetness.

It was only at that moment that Tsugumi realised just what she had said, and her own face slowly began to match the same complexion on the other girl's face.

"I said that aloud, didn't I."

"… Yes."

Tsugumi felt the sweat beading on her forehead from the heat that certainly wasn't just from the pre-heating oven. _Play it cool Tsugu! Just like… like how Moca-chan does!_ "I guess you could say it was… too sweet?"

"Even if this was my fault, if you keep this up, Tsugumi-san, I'm going to leave you to clean up the mess yourself."

"I'm sorry Sayo-san!"

* * *

Half an hour later, with the cake pans safely in the oven and the cream cheese frosting sitting ready for use, Tsugumi heaved a sigh of relief. All that was left was to assemble the cake once it was baked, which would take another good twenty minutes. Taking off her apron, she glanced at Sayo, who already had her own apron off beside the kitchen table with a contemplative glare.

Sayo was too hard on herself, Tsugumi decided as she traced the aforementioned girl's line of sight, to what remained of the bag of sugar sitting innocuously on the kitchen counter.

It's not like she hadn't known from the start that the two of them were highly similar in their work ethic- of course, such a fact had probably played a big part in their mutual attraction. But their continued interactions had led her to come to a greater understanding of the guitarist, and where their worldviews differed.

Where Tsugumi thought of herself as plain, uninteresting, compared to all her amazing friends around her, and always worked (overworked, her mental Tomoe corrected her chidingly) herself to the bone for the sake of others…

Sayo saw herself as flawed. And not in any normal sense, but one that ran deep into her soul, that she was _defective_. Tsugumi had no doubt growing up alongside an identical twin sister who also happened to be a boppin' genius had a large part to play in that fact, though it was neither of their faults.

Where Tsugumi elevated those around her, Sayo lowered herself.

This was the reason why Sayo practiced so hard, and yet never really accepted any praise for her skill. Even while she was playing at the highest technical levels expected of a professional, let alone a mere high school girl, anything she achieved was written off simply as something any normal human being would be able to do given enough practice. She was merely catching up. Always catching up.

Tsugumi wondered what it was like to live like that, being permanently crushed by the weight of the world.

She wished Sayo could see what she saw in her.

Without thinking, she stepped closer, and took Sayo’s hand in her own.

"Tsu- Tsugumi-san?!"

"If you glare at the sugar any longer you're going to burn holes in the bag, Sayo-san."

Sayo made a strange noise that was a mix of a huff and a sigh, but made no move to separate their hands. "My apologies again for wasting the sugar, Tsugumi-san."

"It's fine, Sayo-san. It's my fault for saying something like that out of the blue anyway," Tsugumi reassured with a squeeze of her hand. "Do you- do you want to talk now?" She could hear her own voice rise in pitch at the thought of having to verbalize her feelings, but she knew it was now or never. While she was still buoyed by everything today; while she still had these thoughts fresh on her mind.

"Now?" Sayo's voice was equally panicked, her body instinctively wavering backwards. Her wide eyes cast a wild look towards the living room where her bag was, before focusing back on Tsugumi. "I- I'm not ready."

Tsugumi frowned. Hadn't they been working towards this for the entire day, or the whole week, even? Sure they were nervous; she felt like her hand was disgustingly clammy (which hopefully Sayo would be gracious enough to understand) and her heart was pounding as though she was running a marathon, but… had she misunderstood? What did Sayo mean? The anxious thoughts flooded her head, until a lightbulb went off in her mind.

An incredulous smile tugged at her lips. "Sayo-san… you have a script, don't you."

It was a statement, not a question. And it was backed with the months of confidence built up from the peculiar dance the two of them had been doing around each other, a dance that Tsugumi was finally confident in bringing into the next phase today. That confidence bore through Sayo's rigid countenance, which crumbled rapidly.

"… I didn't want to mess this up," Sayo grumbled, with her shoulders slumping and an inability to meet Tsugumi's gaze. "You… you deserve only the best from me. Let me go get it-"

The situation was almost laughable, and it was this exact moment that Tsugumi knew, that this was the very girl she had fallen in love with.

Which was why she couldn't resist giggling mischievously as she tugged at Sayo's hand and advanced another step, trapping Sayo against the kitchen table. "Nooope, Sayo-san. I know you well enough to know you've definitely rehearsed it enough times by now. Please try, for me?"

Another feeble stirring of resistance from Sayo, who gave up when Tsugumi refused to budge. "… I really don't want to mess this up."

"Please? I want to look at your eyes while you say it."

A minute of silence passed, with only the oven timer ticking in the background as Sayo's face turned steadily darker.

"… You're really unfair, Tsugumi-san. How am I supposed to remember what I'm supposed to say when just being with you like this makes my mind go blank?"

The words were so soft they were almost whispered, filled with embarrassment but also a warm, tender emotion behind them. Tsugumi felt her insides doing somersaults at Sayo's voice, barely processing the words in her head. Her own cheeks burned fiercely, but she had to stay strong! She had to do this for the two of them!

"Sayo-san, I'm also on the verge of running away, and the only thing keeping me here is the fact that I'm holding your hand. It's overwhelming and I feel like I'm about to explode from all these feelings, but it's also everything that I've ever wished for." Tsugumi paused to take a deep breath, calming her heart and gathering her thoughts.

Given that it was all she had thought about for the entire week, the words came out surprisingly easy, even if her cracked voice wavered at first.

"When I first saw you at my baking class, I was honestly afraid. I was scared that I couldn't guide someone like you with such high standards. But not only did you put up with my vague teaching, you helped me find something good about myself too, that I'm good at finding the good things about other people. And ever since then, I've been able to see the good not just in other people, but also myself. I've been able to feel more secure of my own place within Afterglow, within the student council, and with all of my friends I hold dear."

Tsugumi paused as she came up on a blank in her head. Her left hand grasped pointlessly at thin air where she would usually fidget with her own fingers, except her right hand was currently occupied with Sayo's own. _Think Tsugu! What else was it that you wanted to say_ _…_

But looking at Sayo's face which was shyly avoiding her gaze, Tsugumi found that she had the words she needed all along.

"But that's not all. Every single time we met, every single baking session, you've always given it your all with your utmost focus, no matter how important or trivial each encounter was. Whenever I see you on stage, it shakes my heart seeing your powerful performances, and your clear love for not just music but the rest of Roselia around you. And no matter how much you deny it, even your love and care for Hina-senpai shines through in how much you do for her. All these things about you, Sayo-san, they're all things I've fallen in love with!"

Yes. All she had to do was tell Sayo exactly why she loved her.

"Whenever we're apart I just look forward to our next meeting together. I want to see you more. I want us to do so much together. I… I just want to hold you tight and never let you go…" She trailed off, even as she tightened her hold on Sayo’s hand ever so imperceptibly.

The words didn't feel fully sufficient to her. Not for the huge expanse of emotion that Tsugumi felt for Sayo. But they were the first step in making her feelings known, and she knew that she had done her best. All she could do now was to wait for Sayo's reply.

(Even if she already knew it, Tsugumi couldn't stop herself from squirming where she stood.)

For an awfully long moment, Sayo barely moved, with blinking being her only sign of life. Tsugumi was almost afraid she had broken the other girl, when Sayo opened her mouth falteringly.

"I… thank you, Tsugumi-san. I really don't know what to say. I- this is equally new for me as well. I'm not as good as you at expressing myself, but believe me when I say I'm very flattered, and happy to be thought of that way."

In a brief moment of anxiety and panic, Tsugumi could feel her heart skip a beat. Was that the precursor to a rejection? There was no way it could be given everything up to this point, but she couldn't stop the wild thought from running through her head.

Her widened eyes must have caught Sayo's attention, leading Sayo to place a hand on Tsugumi's hip comfortingly.

"Don't misunderstand. As for what I feel about you, I don't profess to be an expert when it comes to emotions, but what I feel for you is different from anything else I've ever felt. And I will admit, it took me… a long time to understand exactly what it was I felt for you. But once I had confronted it, it seemed foolish how I hadn't understood it before. How my heart beats faster whenever I see you. How I longed for our text conversations, and looked forward to our baking sessions."

Tsugumi felt her heart clench as she took in the words, the very same emotions she herself was all too familiar with. Knowing that her feelings had been reciprocated was nothing but sheer joy.

At this moment though, Sayo broke eye contact as her eyes flicked to the right, and her mouth moved wordlessly for a few seconds, a frown evident on her forehead. The hand on Tsugumi's hip lifted to count off numbers on the side, as she ran through whatever checklist she had in her head.

If Tsugumi hadn't been completely and utterly distracted by how adorably cute the other girl was fretting over her script, she might have found it laughably funny. But for now, she was more than happy to wait patiently for Sayo to gather her thoughts.

"You're a very kind person, Tsugumi-san," Sayo continued while dropping her hand back to Tsugumi's waist, hovering shyly for a moment before resting on it firmly. "And there's so much love in your heart for all the people around you. Even though we're not in the same schools, I can see your effort in everything you do: when you do your best for Afterglow, for the student council, for your family café, and most importantly, for me. No matter how busy you were, you always had time for me. Whenever I was struggling; whether it was searching for my own sound within my practice, or when I was having trouble understanding and helping Hina, you were always there to give me the push I needed. The way you always come up with new ideas, the way you always find the inherent goodness in any situation or person, that sheer positivity within you is something I- I've fallen in love with…"

The way Sayo murmured the last bit spoke of her embarrassment still, but Tsugumi didn't think she would ever forget this moment here, in her own kitchen. The whole thing felt incredibly surreal all of a sudden, that she was confessing to, and being confessed to by her crush right there and then.

But Sayo wasn't quite done yet, as she continued speaking. "A part of me feels that you see me as a better person than I could ever be- but a part of me also knows, that you've already made me a better person that I ever thought I could be. That's why I want to believe in what you see in me. And I want to do the same for you too. I want to support you in any way I can, to always be there for you, to help you the same way you've done for me. I want to walk by your side as well, if you would let me be a part of your journey."

Oh dear. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't Himari, why was this happening to her?

"Sayo-san…" was all she could choke out, before she buried her face in the taller girl's chest, moving her arms to hold Sayo as tightly as she could. After an initial moment of surprise, she could feel arms moving to encapsulate her, holding her just as close.

Was it only relief flooding her mind at the moment? No, it was more. It was the security of knowing that her feelings had been reciprocated, that she wasn't alone- that even if she didn't know how long this would last… Just for this moment, she felt as though she would never be alone again. For someone who had spent her entire life often feeling like she was the third (or fifth) wheel in Afterglow, the thought was incredibly emotional.

But that was just a selfish thought, and more than anything else, it was her love for Sayo that was sending fireworks exploding throughout her brain that suddenly felt too overwhelmed to be handling the situation.

"I love you so much, Sayo-san," she whispered as she leaned her head back to take the other girl in, a bashful hand running up Sayo's back, tracing the contours of her spine. There were so many instances that she had dreamed of the two of them being like this, but now that it was actually happening, she had no clue just what she should be doing.

So it was Sayo who took the lead, with a hand cupping Tsugumi's cheek, slowly running a thumb over where a stray tear had left its trail. "I love you too, Tsugumi-sa-" She broke off briefly, before averting her gaze. "Tsugumi."

_Oh._

"S-Sorry if that was too forward. I didn't mean to be- mmph!"

Before Tsugumi knew what she was doing, she was already tip-toeing, and had crashed their lips messily together in the best approximation of a kiss she could do.

Certainly not how she had planned their first kiss to go, and most likely not how Sayo had either, but that was alright, she decided as she melted into Sayo’s arms, feeling her do the same. Relaxing into each other's embraces, she felt the electricity run through her every nerve from their joined lips.

Fiery passion surging, Tsugumi pressed her body against Sayo's, breathing in her scent, taking everything in about her favourite girl in the world. She had waited so long for this: all the sleepless nights, the unspoken tension, the lingering gazes… All her fantasies had been nothing compared to the reality of what she held within her arms right there and then.

And it was awfully sweet that Sayo, despite her initial hesitation, was giving as good as she got, with her hands cradling Tsugumi as preciously as she did her guitar. Tsugumi could feel Sayo's gentle hands caressing her tenderly, running over not just her back, but also her exposed skin on her neck and arms.

For someone who had always seen herself as plain and unattractive, Tsugumi had never felt more desirable than she did in this moment.

With how intense the two were getting it on, it was no surprise that they literally jumped apart from each other when the oven went off with the most obnoxious "Ding!" they had ever heard in their entire lives. Sayo scanned the kitchen rapidly with her beet-red face as she smoothed out her shirt, looking equal parts guilty and ready to throw down with whatever threat presented itself. Tsugumi herself wasn't doing any better, quickly straightening her rumpled clothes with furtive glances at the door.

When the two finally calmed down (and shot a glare or two at the offending oven), Tsugumi broke into laughter, sending Sayo's lips curling upwards in her trademark soft smile she loved so much.

"That was… good." Tsugumi wasn't exactly eloquent at this, but she hoped her fingers, now interlaced with Sayo's once more, would do enough of the talking.

"Yes. I enjoyed that as well…" Sayo's free hand rose up to fiddle with her hair as always, the tips of her ears red, but with a smile that refused to leave her face.

"So uhm… We should take the cake out soon, but after that we still have to let it cool before we do the icing…" The implication was left unspoken, though Tsugumi tightened her grip to make it clear.

"That's true. And after the icing too, we have to let it settle in the fridge." Sayo's eyes took on an amused light, betraying her real thoughts as much as the reddish glow on her cheeks.

"Yes. And… maybe you could stay for dinner?"

A hopeful question, though it was already answered by the thumb subconsciously running over the back of Tsugumi’s hand. And with Sayo's gentle laugh, they both knew they were in sync on this one, bathed in the warmth of each other's love.

"Yes, Tsugumi. I would like that very much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sayo stayed for breakfast too. Not that either of them are the kind to be doing *that* right after starting to date, but the two would just have so much to catch up on, now that they finally could say the things left unspoken and share the feelings left unacknowledged.
> 
> It's been a wild ride and I apologise for the long wait for the final chapter, but it's finally done! Thank you to everyone who read all this way. Hoping to continue writing for the fandom, but might have to divert my creative energies elsewhere for a bit so probably won't be updating anything for a while. Either way, I'm really happy with all the other SayoTsugu fans out there creating content for us. Bless you all.
> 
> See you all on the other side, soon, hopefully.


End file.
